It’s a movement, and I don’t get it. I think the whole world loves Country music - except me. Detest it. The imagery alone gives me the willies. Redneck women, seedy bars, flea-bitten varmint, cars on blocks, grannies with no teeth… You get the picture and it’s ain’t not pretty.

My brother in law Gus, is Puerto Rican. And he’s country-lovin’ dude. In my mind, there is something askew about this.

This is Gus. Note the single hand on the wheel of the boat. The suave expression.

As part of his Latino heritage, Gus has learned to dance. I mean really. Salsa, merengue, mambo - he can move. And it only makes sense that he should be listening to this:

But instead, he loves this.

He doesn’t even know how to twang. I do believe it’s impossible to twang when you know how to trill.

There is something inherently wrong with this picture.

I will admit that by boycotting country music, I am missing out on titles like these:

I Wouldn’t Take Her To a Dog Fight, ‘Cause I’m Afraid She’d Win
She Ran Away With a Rodeo Clown
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Miss Him
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In Bed

Actually, on second thought, there is an upside. Maybe I should listen to titles like these for the same reason I watch beauty pageants. It makes me feel really smart.

Note: Two things: I make exception for Lyle Lovett because he has a large band, and that makes him cool in my book. Also, nothin’ but love for ya Gus. You just can’t listen to that tractor song in my car.

Edited to add: I wrote this in fun, and I’m open to a Country intervention. Anyone besides Amanda want to try?

I can’t think of another explanation for this child, yet I assure you, that wasn’t possible. My son is quite the little extrovert, and yesterday asked me to video tape him talking about his latest creation. Since the movie, Jake makes knockoffs of the motherboard inside the rusty pile of metal Wall E. He practically mows me down when I walk in the door at night, anxious to show me the features of his latest creation. I wasn’t surprised when he asked to be videotaped. But when he went into an infomercial-styled dissertation, I was a little, well, I wondered whose kid he was. I promise you, he was not prompted in either video in any way - except in one spot where I encouraged him to look at the camera.

Sorry in advance if this is like sharing vacation photos.

Ready for a treat? Then roll up your sleeves. This is a Sunday-afternoon-I’m-in-the-mood-to-cook kind of recipe. But it is so worth it. Try to go with fresh seafood. It’s so much better. But if you have to, frozen shrimp and canned crab will do. And unless you are feeding a crowd, there will be plenty of leftovers. (Kids are not particularly fond of shrimp or crab.) Did I mention there’s almost no fat in this little creation?

Myra’s Shrimp and Crab Pasta Extraordinaire

1/2 lb large shrimp (fresh is best, but frozen is ok too)

1/2 lb lump crab meat (I buy 1-2 lbs of snow crab to yield enough)

2 1/2 lbs (or so) plum or on the vine tomatoes - seeded and chopped

1 large bunch watercress, chopped

1 cube chicken bouillon

1/4 c dry white wine (don’t be shy people)

1 clove garlic (or whatever you can handle)

Olive oil

Salt and pepper

pasta of your choice - I often use wheat spaghetti or vermicelli, but spinach goes great with this recipe too. Let’s move away from white pasta. Please?

Here goes:

Step 1: Boil the crab. (Don’t be sad. It’s just their legs. Have you seen these buggers on The Deadliest Catch?)

Boil the crab for a few minutes. Then ask your husband (in my case) or someone very kindly to crack the crab legs. Bribe them with a glass of wine. Because you have everything else to do.

Step 2: Chop the tomatoes. Don’t be the anal retentive chef. Just chop.

Step 3: Peel and devein the shrimp. Heat the stove and saute with olive oil and pressed garlic until they’re pink. Season with salt and pepper.

Step 4: Remove the shrimp with a slotted spoon. Add tomatoes. If you’re feeling generous, add more olive oil here. Throw in the bouillon too. Saute the tomatoes for a few minutes, then add 1/2 cup of water. Don’t be fooled by that measuring cup. I’m not usually fancy enough to measure. But you’re company after all.

Step 5: While the tomatoes are simmering, chop the watercress. Cut off the large stems. And I don’t have to tell you to rinse it off first, right? Then give it a little chop.

Step 6: Add some wine to the sauce simmering on the stove. And have a sip while you’re at it. You deserve it.

Step 7: Toss in the watercress, shrimp and crab. Be gentle. After a couple stirs, it will look like this.

Step 8: Boil the pasta and keep the sauce warm. Pour more wine.

Step 9: Serve it up. It will look like this:

You put the kids to bed already, right? If not, what are you waiting for?

I thought I’d share one of my favorite summer dinners. Once upon a time, when Michael and I still took grownup vacations together, we had a salad similar to this at a lovely little place in Martha’s Vineyard. I’ve made versions of it since, and it’s my favorite summer meal.

Once in awhile, when I realize that the jeans are a little tighter than I’d like, I pay attention to how many handfuls of Jake’s Goldfish crackers I pop, or whatever else I mindlessly eat. And I cut out carbs and just eat stuff like this. And it’s yummy and healthy.

My version is no carbs, and no accompanying side dishes. Just the salad. And make it big.

The dressing:

balsamic vinegar
extra virgin olive oil
minced fresh herbs (basil, thyme, oregano, dash of kosher salt, red pepper flakes)
Mix the above ingredients to taste. I promise, it is the best salad dressing you’ll ever have.

The Chicken
I’m ridiculously picky about meat. So I only buy chicken cutlets. But you could use whatever kind of chicken you like. Slather it in some of the dressing, and roast in the oven or throw it on the grill. If you have a convection oven, the roast setting makes it moist and browns it nicely.

The Salad
chopped lettuce greens (I like a combination of Romaine, spinach, and alfalfa sprouts)
sun dried tomatoes, chopped
goat cheese
toasted pignoli (I just throw these in my toaster oven for a few minutes)
calamata olives, chopped
green beans, steamed, and cut into bite sized pieces

I’ve made this same salad with large shrimp.